The Lizard Juice Story: The Miracle of the Lizard
There is a strip mall in the picturesque, seaside town of Seminole Florida. Next to this strip mall, a car wash sprays, rolls, and even roars from time to time. The lake is just to the east. At sunset, the great blue heron glides low in the golden, pink sky. The lizards maintain their vigil on the rough macadam and cement buffer zone surrounding the strip mall. They dart behind the planter if you try to catch them. They look at you with their mysterious, unfathomable gaze. They mate in public, which is alarming. This Seminole. This abode of contented reptiles. This hive of industrious humanity – this is where Lizard Juice was born. This is where Buddy, the founder of Lizard Juice, first stepped his dainty, yet tough paws over the threshold of what was to become the Lizard Juice store.
One hot, humid, Tampa Florida night Buddy was trotting – almost tip-toeing, as is his wont – around the patio behind the classic ranch-style, Florida golf course home where he lived with his two assistants, Gary and Pam. As Buddy nosed among the begonias which Pam had just planted, he noticed a movement on the periphery of his field of vision. Half-hidden by the statue of St. Lysander of Havana, the patron saint of lizards, a dark shape shifted slightly. Buddy tensed his lithe, wiry frame – ready to pounce. Nose alert, eyes beady, tail upraised, Buddy’s delicately calibrated danger-detector was activated.
The moon peaked out from between the overhanging branches of the huge live oak. Silver light illuminated the patio. What had been obscure was now bright, and Buddy saw that he was face to face with an ancient lizard. The lizard’s tawny skin had lost its youthful smoothness, and bagged at his neck and ankles. His lizard gut he could barely lift from the ground as he lumbered toward Buddy. His eyes held Buddy in a benevolent gaze, and Buddy was not afraid.
Humanity will never know for sure what arcane knowledge passed from the lizard to Buddy that moonlit night. No doubt, the old lizard showed Buddy some ancient art of mixing e-juices. Shortly after, Buddy developed his incredible line of e-liquids, and opened the Lizard Juice store where you are standing right now. Have a care – you are on hallowed ground.